Connecting With the Inner Child: A Personal Reflection on Healing

One of the most challenging moments in my therapeutic journey has been learning how to connect with my inner child.

During my initial therapy sessions, my therapist and I discussed my childhood trauma on several occasions. These conversations were extremely difficult. They forced me to face experiences I had spent most of my adolescence and young adulthood trying to escape.

I vividly remember one particular session. My therapist, whom I deeply trusted, gently asked whether there was anything I wanted to say to the little girl within me. She invited me to connect with her and to tell her something I had never been able to say before.

When I Froze

I froze. I faltered.

I could feel the little child inside me growing smaller, trying to hide away and disappear. I was honestly petrified. I was terrified that I would never be able to connect with her.

In that moment, I realized something painful: for years, I had not paid attention to this little girl within me. I knew she was there, waiting, but I had chosen to leave her in the dark. Part of me believed I was protecting her. Another part was simply too scared.

My strongest fear was that I was not good enough for her — that I had nothing to offer. I was afraid I would never be able to bring closure to what she had been through. Over the years, I avoided her because I feared I would disappoint her or hurt her even more.

That session was one of the most challenging experiences I have ever faced. It shook me to my core. I realized that my inner child had been left alone for years, struggling to navigate life’s ups and downs without the care she deserved.

Speaking to the Little Girl Within

Eventually, I did speak to her.

It was incredibly hard, but I knew I had to break through the walls I had built. Through tears, I reached out and apologized for leaving her alone. I released her from the guilt she had carried for so many years.I validated her strength, her perseverance, and her resilience; the ways she endured my neglect for so long. Most importantly, I acknowledged something she needed to hear: she was not to blame for what had happened.

She was innocent.

Yet she had carried guilt that was never hers to bear. In that session, I made a conscious decision to take that heavy baggage away from her forever. It was not her responsibility. The session left me shaken, but something shifted. I could feel the little girl smile; lighter, calmer, finally at ease. For the first time in many years, I felt I had begun to make peace with a crucial part of myself.

I realized how much time I had spent punishing myself for things that were never within my control, let alone my fault.

Where I Am Now

Even today, I still feel some reluctance when it comes to connecting with my inner child. I am afraid that I might stir up pain again, bot for her and for myself.

And yet, I challenge myself to reach inward.

What I see now is a little girl who is scarred, but also happy. She has dreams and hopes. She understands that life can sometimes smile at you, that it can offer moments, experiences, and people worth cherishing.

Becoming a mother has also played a powerful role in her healing. Through mothering, I am making things right. I am making her stronger. I am giving her wings to fly. In many ways, I am reparenting her; deconstructing the story she once believed about herself and reconstructing a new one. A story without monsters, without self-blame, and without misplaced guilt.

Why Inner Child Work Is So Challenging Yet So Important

The concept of the inner child can be difficult to explain and even harder to work with in therapy. Many clients feel uncomfortable or not ready to make contact with the little child within them and I understand that hesitation deeply.

The inner child represents who we once were: the experiences we lived through, the meanings we made, and the ways we learned to survive. For some, these memories are painful rather than comforting, which makes vulnerability feel frightening.

Connecting with the inner child helps us understand our life script, the beliefs we formed about how life works and how we must behave in order to cope. These scripts often feel fixed, even though they were written by a much younger version of ourselves. Letting go of them is not easy. They kept us safe for many years.

But as adults, we now have the capacity to soothe, protect, and guide our inner child. We can show them new perspectives, remove imagined monsters, and offer safety where there once was none.

A Gentle Invitation

If you are currently in therapy or considering it, I encourage you to explore inner child work, especially if you are struggling with low self-esteem, body image concerns, eating difficulties, self-harm, or persistent shame. It is not an easy path. But it can be profoundly healing.

If you would like to learn more about inner child work and how it can support healing, you are warmly invited to explore the Therapeutic Tools section in our menu, where you’ll find further information about this powerful therapeutic approach.